Saying Goodbye to Buster
Last week was one of the first times I didn’t do anything for the blog. No new posts, no pinning, no Facebook posts, etc. That had to be the first time in 8+ years. Why? Well, we experienced an unexpected loss in our home. Our sweet Buster Brown crossed over the rainbow bridge on Monday, August 17th around 11:45 a.m. I never thought the day would come so soon where we would be saying goodbye to Buster.
If love could have saved you,
you would have lived forever.
My heart is broken and I truly believe a small piece of me died with Buster…
We adopted Buster about 10 years ago from a pet shelter in Hawk Point, MO. He was 3 years old and the only setback was that he wasn’t housebroken. Y’all, that almost broke me. It took around 2 months to potty train him and I shed many tears.
However, he was such a good dog. Super chill, didn’t like to be held or cuddled — but he was always present. He loved to chase his little tennis balls, would rarely refuse a dog treat, and enjoyed a belly rub every now and then.
Watch this sweet memorial video I made for our sweet Buster Brown… many tears were shed while putting this together.
What Happened?
On Sunday (August 16th), we noticed he wasn’t eating. Our thoughts were that he probably had an upset stomach. We honestly didn’t think too much about it, because he’s done this before. Therefore, he laid around and eventually made his way out back to chill in the shade.
Steve headed out of town mid-afternoon, but my sister came over for a while and agreed that Buster just seemed under the weather. Saying goodbye to Steve was awful that afternoon. Little did I know that his trip would be cut short.
At dusk, I got him to come inside. He seemed a little weak, but Steve and I thought we’d give it till morning before calling the vet. There really was no change in his behavior before I went to bed, so I turned in praying that whatever might be going on in his tummy/body would pass and he would be better in the morning.
I didn’t sleep well that night. I kept hearing Buster moving around (he’s not crated at night), which made me think he might’ve been feeling a little better. One time I woke up and it looked like he was dreaming. It appeared as though he was running in his sleep. Again, I just went back to sleep.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose;
All that we love deeply, becomes a part of us.
-Helen Keller
Around 6 a.m. I heard a banging sound in our master bathroom. And it sounded like Buster was hitting the cabinets. I jumped out of bed and ran in to see what was going on. He had stopped at that point, but he couldn’t walk…. he just kept collapsing. I quickly phoned my husband, something was wrong. Suddenly Buster went into a terrible seizure and I had the devastating realization that he may have been having them throughout the night.
Friends, I went into panic mode. I quickly called my mom to meet me so she could watch Parker, wrapped Buster in a blanket, and sped into town. Our vet wasn’t open yet. So I called the Emergency Vet Clinic and told them I was on my way.
Emergency Clinic
Within 15 minutes of checking him in at the clinic, I was told that Buster wasn’t really responding to fluids and that seizures are usually linked to tumors or masses on their brain. Treatable seizures are when a pet comes out of them and usually walks in a circle to get their bearings. I knew that Buster didn’t seem lucid as we drove into town. His eyes seemed glazed over.
Sitting there alone in a cold, sterile room I began to weep. The doctor on duty basically said that we could transfer him to our vet when they opened for observation or we’d need to put him to sleep. I called my husband and asked the doctor to explain to him what was happening. Steve was unable to speak.
The doctor stepped out and we agreed that we wanted our vet to see Buster for a second opinion. There was no way I was going to put Buster asleep alone without Steve — and in a clinic that was getting ready to close.
Nevertheless, I hung on to a glimmer of hope. Maybe our vet would be able to help Buster and give us some good news. Before leaving the emergency clinic, Buster did have another seizure, so they gave him some valium to make the trip across town more comfortable and incident-free.
While trying to remain hopeful, the thought of saying goodbye was overwhelming.
A Second Opinion | Saying Goodbye
Upon arrival, the technician at Parkcret Veterinary Clinic came out for Buster (due to COVID and safety measures, I was unable to go in with him at this time). I spoke to our vet (Dr. Garroutte), weeping as I shared the events that had transpired earlier that morning. The guilt was overwhelming. Let me re-phrase that, the guilt IS overwhelming.
I waited for what seemed like an eternity before Dr. Garroutte came back out to the car to talk to me. He confirmed that things weren’t good and time was not on our side. Basically, Steve needed to get back into town ASAP.
Steve was a couple of hours away and said he was at times going 90-95 mph to get home… We scheduled to go back to the vet’s office together between 11:00 and 11:30 a.m. By 11:45 a.m., Buster had crossed the rainbow bridge. Our hearts were broken.
Needless to say, it’s been a rough week. A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t cried and nights are the worst for me. However, while we are currently mourning the loss of our sweet Buster, we are also trying to remember and celebrate the 10 fabulous years we had with him.
Always in our Hearts
As a rescue dog, we knew that he came from an abusive home. He never did like loud noises and in the beginning, he ate his food way too fast. But, we know in our heart of hearts that we gave Buster the best home and all the love in the world.
Buster was my little shadow — following me wherever I went. If I went into the bathroom, he sat and waited on the ceramic tiles. If I took a nap, he laid next to the bed facing the door — and he laid on the floor next to where I sat and worked so often. Double checking that he wasn’t laying on the floor in the laundry room became second nature, as I had a tendency to bump into him on occasion.
He also had the patience of steel… as Parker began to lose his sight, he would walk on and/or over Buster all the time. I would always tell him what a good and patient boy he was. Sigh.
I’ve learned the hard way that I’ve never experienced a loss quite like this. And it sucks.
Posts where Buster is featured:
How to Keep Your House Clean with Dogs
Pet-Friendly Furniture and Decor
Awesome Pet-Friendly Carpet
Holiday Wishes from Buster and Parker
Our New Normal
We are so fortunate to still have our Parker Posey with us. Although, we’re trying to find our new normal without Buster. Parker is blind and has never been left alone at the house. As a result, it’s been sad to watch Parker notice that there isn’t a second food bowl to lick, his begging/barking buddy isn’t here anymore and he doesn’t keep bumping into Buster when he comes in from the backyard.
I wanted to share this news with you. Buster was a part of my blog family too. I thought it would be nice to celebrate his life in words, photos, and video. Thank you for your support and continued prayers. Please be thoughtful if you should decide to leave a comment.
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Hugs and Blessings!
Darlene says
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I know too well how hard it is to say good-by to a beloved dog that’s been with you for many years. It was so hard for my husband and I when we had to let our beloved dog go that we haven’t even tried to get another one and that was about 14 years ago.
You’ll always have your wonderful memories of your dear Buster. Buster was very fortunate to have had such a wonderfully loving home for the last 10 years of his life.
I know I look forward to seeing all of my dogs I’ve throughout my life in heaven.
andrea says
Oh Kelly… I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face… I feel your pain… your sadness… hour broken heart. I know the love you felt and feel… nothing like it. I just hope and pray that you were with him. I wish I had the words to make it all better… but I don’t… but I do know what he will be with you always… and you will see each other again and that time it will be forever. I am going to light a candle for this sweet sweet little boy and I am sure he is dancing from cloud to cloud with all of his Angel Friends. Keep him close always… he is in your heart and if you look to your shoulder… he will always be watching over you. Sending many hugs… prayers and healing rays…
Karen says
I am SO very sorry for your loss of Buster. Our dogs are truly a part of our family.
Buster knew how much he was loved.
Babs says
I shed a few tears while reading this. Our Butler, a sweet Jack Russell, will be 15 in November. While presently healthy, happy and busy, I dread the time when he’ll leave us. I understand the feeling of missing your shadow. I kept a neighbor’s dog Daisy, a Couton de Tulear for 10 years.. her Mom worked during the day so she and Butler had each other. It’s been a year since she went to the Rainbow Bridge. Every morning, Butler still looks for her. We were and are so blessed to have them. You will always have Buster in your heart. God provides blessings in many ways.. he is one! Feel good that you made his life a happy one. Miss him.. focus on Posey and think about another puppy. I enjoy your blog.. wish I had the courage to do one… 😋
Deborah D says
It’s terribly hard to let our fur babies go. The good thing is that Buster had a good and happy 10 years. You gave him unconditional love. We have a rescue that we gave a home to about 3 1/2 years ago. He’s my shadow to. Opening our heats to love and care of pets is always rewarding to us both. Prayers for peace and comfort as you go through this.
Julie says
What a beautiful face your Buster had! So easy to tell he was loved in your home. So sad for your loss. As someone who has had a dog(s) since I first begged my parents for a dog at age 12… it never gets easier to say goodbye to those family members who bring so much into our lives. Hugs to you and your husband.
suzanne says
I am truly sorry. Buster looked just like my little Muggsy who I had to put down 17 years ago. He was only 10. It was one of the most difficult deaths I’ve ever had to face and 17 years later I still cry about it as I am now. We have had other pets since then, but I’ve never allowed myself to get too close to another animal. So , that being said, please get another cute recue dog to love and eventually cry over, too. It’s not good to do as I’ve done and close up your heart to prevent hurt. Truly, it isn’t.
sue says
heart breaking- I have said goodbye to so many greatly loved four-legged friends- all rescues, over the years- usually due to cancer, and it just NEVER gets easier… think I have cried a whole bunch of rivers over the years for these precious Darlings- so let go of the guilt… knowing that perfect health in heaven is forever!
Gail Cullen Ratliffe says
So sorry for your loss…there is no sorrow quite like this one
Jo Mixson says
Oh, how we thank the Lord for these little fur gifts He has given us and for the Rainbow Bridge created as a crossover to these little ones at their last breaths with us. I, too, really understand that guilt you are feeling ( 23 years now since Blondie passed), but I also know that you can be peaceful knowing you gave him so many years of joy!
Aprill Gorog says
My deepest, heartfelt sympathy. I what a horrible thing it is to lose a fur-ever friend and family member. It does hurt so much. Remember all the good times with Buster and try to put the last 24 hours with him out of your mind. It isn’t anything to feel guilty about. You did what you thought was right and, because of previous experience with Buster, it was right. Love your Parker and keep him/her safe. Love and hope for better days for you and your family.
Tammy says
I’m so sorry to hear about your little fur baby. Its so hard at that time to let a part of the family go. It’s been 3 years since our rescued boxer, Ernest T. Bass passed and I still catch myself saying, “If Ernest was here………..”. But the memories will always be there of a great pet. Hugs and prayers for you and your hubby.
Arline says
So sorry. I empathize. It’s very hard.
Colleen Haddock says
So sorry to hear of your loss. It reminds me of my cat, Smokey Blue. I had her for 19 years and she got cancer. She was actually kind of a brutal little thing due to the fact that she was mistreated by someone when a baby kitty, but never the less, I loved her dearly. I also cried my heart out when I had to have her put down, and I cried for your little guy and you as I looked through your pics of Buster. I’ll bet he’s really happy now. Probably hanging out with my mean little Smokey and my dad. All animals loved my dad when he was alive.
I’m a believer in signs, so I’ll bet somewhere, someday you’ll get a sign from Buster. Best wishes for you and your husband. Take care and be safe.
Sharon aka Mom says
How could we ever forget our Grand doggie sweet Buster!
What an amazing tribute to him. He will be sorely missed but what fond and happy memories we have of him. The video was a real tear jerker.
I know this has been difficult for you and Steve but cling to all the good and happy things you shared with Buster!
We love you! Mom & Dad ❤️❤️
Linda says
I am so sorry for the loss of your Sweet Buster. It is so hard on our hearts to lose such precious members of our family.
Jane says
So,so sorry. You guys were good parents to Buster & saves him from who knows what. He’ll always have a print on your heart. 😢😍❤️🤗
Sandi says
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet fur baby!! Hugs,
Julia says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kelly. The Lord gives us these furry companions – I’m convinced that He intended it all along. Of all the animals He put under man’s dominion, there were a special few meant to be intimately involved in our daily lives. He knew we’d need them to be loving, patient, comforting, and loyal friends. I’m glad you had the time with him you did. Blessings, Dear. Julia 🌿
Margie Bartlett says
I’m so sorry Kelly, so sorry. Please release that guilt to God, its obvious you were the best Mom possible to Buster and
it really sounds like there was nothing you could have done that would have changed this out come. Love and prayers
Debbie L Gaetz says
I’m so sorry that Buster was called home earlier than anticipated. I know the hole in your heart and the knot in your tummy and the tears in your eyes. We had a little bichon frise that we raised from 8 weeks. She was our buddy, our traveling buddy — always wanting to share her love. We left town for a week and mid-week, the pet sitter called to say that she had a few moments when she couldn’t move her back legs but then resumed movement. She wasn’t her chipper self, so we asked her to drive 40 miles to our veterinarian. We immediately made plans to fly home. The vet referred her to an animal hospital 10 miles from us. When we landed, we called the hospital and decided it was best to see her early the next morning. They diagnosed that she had had a stroke and continued to have them. We brought her home one day and had to go back to the hospital so they could hydrate her. They called me that night to say it wasn’t looking good. We were there the next morning at 6 a.m., and we said our goodbyes. The hole, knot and tears still have not subsided after 2-1/2 years. The house is quiet and I miss seeing her watching my every move. Be good to you. I just remember she’s much happier across that bridge because there is no pain, no limitations and only lovve.
Debbie L Gaetz says
I forgot to say she was 15-1/2 years, the best years of our life. we had hoped she’d make it to 18 years. I didn’t want you to think she was really young.
Laurie Boies says
OH, sweet Kelly, my heart aches for you. We lost our beloved Yorkie, Trixie, in 2010 and the pain is still real. She was only 10 years old too, just like your dear Buster. Pets can enrich our lives a thousandfold, but they leave a very big hole when they leave us. I know that you gave him a very good life, and he is running around heaven, just waiting for the day you join him there. You and Steve are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!!!
Amy Egan says
I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. Big hug to all of you.
Donna says
May you and your husband find peace in this sad time. So sorry for your loss. Our little furry children are such a blessing. Take care.
Kathie says
Tears are running down my face as I read about your loss. We have lost 2 of our dogs and it’s one of the hardest things to do, saying goodbye to them. They are both buried in the little pet cemetary in the back yard. Bless you and your family
Terri Schultz says
Kelly, Steve & parker
My heart breaks for all of you, I’m so glad I got to meet buster last year on my trip out to Missouri, what a sweetie !! Hold his memories close in your heart !! You guys took little buster from a bad beginning and gave him love & happiness he was shown what love truly is and he gave it back, I don’t care what some people say pets become one of the family and when it’s their time to leave it’s devastating, it’s a loss, it’s a huge hole right in the center of your heart !! And keep his spirit alive in memories
Love you all, big hugs sent to all of you
Xoxo from aunt terri
Ronda Borkovec says
I am so sad to hear about Buster. I know all too well the pain of a beloved pet’s loss. May your tears soon be replaced with warm smiles brought by memories of your beautiful Buster.
Debbie says
So sorry for your loss, He had such a sweet face! The video was lovely.