This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write, which is why it’s taken me over 5 weeks to pull myself together enough to sit and share this news through the tears. Our sweet Parker Posey crossed the rainbow bridge on Thursday, July 15th around 2:30 p.m.
As many of you know last August (2020) we lost our sweet Buster unexpectedly. Life changed so much and it almost took me an entire year before I finally started feeling like myself again.
Parker was my saving grace. He continued to be my walking buddy, tv watching buddy, napping buddy, and always loved to sit on my lap or snuggle up beside me.
It was a blessing.
Truly, a blessing.
I put together a short memorial video in memory of Parker Posey… I had to work on this in small increments amongst many tears.
Parker’s Decline
However, Steve and I also began to notice Parker’s decline. We were frequenting the vet more often, watching him struggle with his blindness, he started to get finicky with eating and the list goes on. Bless his heart, he had such a hard time finding the water bowl.
Parker faced so many physical challenges. It started with a fall off our deck in St. Louis, leading to White Dog Shakers Syndrome. He was on steroids for many, many years. Neurologically, he faced some additional things and even underwent a spinal tap.
Sadly, we never found a way to help him other than the steroids. Shortly before we moved to the Springfield area from St. Louis, we started to notice signs that he was losing his sight and in the last couple of years he was diagnosed with pancreatitis. The poor little guy just couldn’t catch a break.
We knew we were going to have to make an impossible decision. I emphasize the word impossible because no one ever wants to make that heart-wrenching decision.
When we did decide to schedule the appointment, I remember my vet saying that if and when we made our decision, we needed to commit to it.
I’ll be honest, as the day grew closer, I wanted to cancel the appointment. Selfishly, I wanted to hold on to my sweet Parker forever (knowing that was entirely insane and impossible).
However, I also knew that I would be facing many dark days of sadness and loss.
Another piece of my heart died with Parker on that day. Sniff-sniff.
I got Parker back in February of 2008. Steve and I had gotten engaged in November of 2007 and I was making the move to St. Louis. I wanted a roomie. Enter Parker.
Steve thought I was insane taking on such a big responsibility while starting a new job, planning a wedding, etc. Nevertheless, upon meeting Parker — he knew exactly why I wanted to call him mine.
Parker brought so much personality and joy into our lives. While I may cry a lot, one day I know I will smile with joy at the happy memories we made with him over the years.
Always in our Hearts
Steve and I haven’t known a day of marriage without Parker. He’s been with us from the beginning. He was our little cuddle bug. He loved to be held, loved to sing with me, loved feeling the wind on his face in the car, loved when the family came to visit, and could eat us out of house and home.
My sweet boy.
We loved him with every fiber of our being. My heart is broken and yet I know that he is whole again and (hopefully) he’s playing with Buster and Sydney (my sister’s sweet schnauzer that passed).
Since his passing, a white butterfly has made several appearances in our backyard. I believe it’s Parker letting me know he’s close by in spirit.
Our New Normal
Life has changed for the Rowes. The house is soooo quiet and empty. We’ve committed to waiting a year before considering getting another dog.
I’m currently getting my dog fixes from my sister’s schnauzer (Max), my parent’s Havanese (Bella), and my friend’s lab (Jackson).
I’m still a hot mess most days. After caring for dogs for 13-1/2 years, it’s still unbearable to come home to an empty house. It’s incredibly hard not to go to the back door before bed to let them out to go potty.
Men mourn differently than women, but Steve has been such a trooper putting up with my on and off weeping sessions. Worship music, walks and naps are all therapeutic for me.
Well, I wanted to be sure to share this update with you. Parker was such a big part of the blog over the years. I thought it would be nice to celebrate his life in words, photos, and video.
Posts where Buster is featured:
How to Train your Dog to Ring a Bell to go Potty
How to Keep Your House Clean with Dogs
Pet-Friendly Furniture and Decor
Mealtime Excitement with Alpo®
Plaid and Khaki WIWW
Awesome Pet-Friendly Carpet
Backyard Date Night and Memory Making
Holiday Wishes from Buster and Parker
(and many more) ❤️
Thank you for your support and continued prayers. Please be thoughtful if you should decide to leave a comment.
Lillian Merlin says
Kelly
So sorry for your loss. His story is incredible and the memories will last forever. Thank you for sharing.
Lillian
Karen says
I am so very sad to hear about Parker. Our fur babies are truly a huge part of the family.
I know how much he’ll be missed.
Debbie says
I am so sorry Kelly to hear this sad news…I just got teared up reading this. I also had the same feelings you did after we lost Lola. It was so hard coming into an empty house and not being greeted by her. Within a few months, we got Dixie and she’s brought so much joy to us. Thinking of you and praying for you to have strength. Take care. ~Debbie
Janet Wells says
Hugs! Losing a loved one hurts but it is so good you know Parker isn’t hurting anymore! We had to say an unexpected goodbye to our 2 1/2 year old boxer a couple of years ago after her fight with meningitis. My vet cried with me. And then, just a few weeks later she called and said she had someone wanted me to meet. A sweet little boxer who was sadly neglected but, oh, so loveable! I took her home and can gladly report our Cookie rescued us as much as we rescued her! Blessings to you and Steve.
Karen says
I am so sorry to hear this. I believe with all my being that there is a Rainbow Bridge and our furbabies are waiting for us there. My husband and I have been married almost 40 years and we have had 26 dogs, counting the four we have now. We have decided that when they die we will not get any more due to our age and I am dreading coming home to an empty house. You can only do what you can do. If you need to cry or scream do it, one day soon those tears will turn to happy memories.
Renee says
God Bless my sweet friend. Prayers for your healing as I know it is a process. Our fur babies touch our lives in the most incredible ways so it is hard when they cross over. Take care
Linda Schaefer says
I can definitely relate. Our little Murphy was so special so special. He seemed fine when we got him. But about 6 months in we started noticing something wasn’t right. He was with me constantly and was dearly loved by nursing home residents I took him to visit. The last 6 months of his short 2 years he had to be carried due to muscle issues. The day he passed his trachea collapsed. Like you I still get weepy at times. Have since been gifted with s spunky little Maltese “Ruger” …love him dearly but he will never take the hole in my heart left by Murphy.
NANCY KREISCHER says
I am so very sorry for your loss. Parker was beautiful. I can see why you fell in love with him.May your wonderful memories console you.
Maria Trunzo says
All animals tug @ our hearts as they leave the watch over us. They supply us with unconditional love. They are always there through all of our life’s ups & downs, with no questions of leaving us. May God bless you as you deal with the loss of your fur babies & as your heart heals, but you will always have a place in your for your memories.
Denise Collins says
It took me forever to read your post as I had to stop reading numerous times to wipe away my tears. I hadn’t remembered reading about Buster so I caught up on that, too. I have had to say goodbye to numerous furry babies of mine, and it never gets any easier. My heart breaks for you. The only solace is to know they are no longer in pain and are now running around like puppies over the Rainbow Bridge. You and Steve are in my prayers!
Genny Rupp says
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sweet dog! We have lost our pets in the past too and it is heartbreaking. We currently have an ill dog whose days are numbered so I understand what it’s like to see your best friend begin to fail. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
MADELINE NEWTON says
it is so hard to loose our babies…i am so sorry …we are down to only one ourselves…it is a long journey to face with not having in your life …memories are so great and we can use them for our comfort..when they get ill it is hard to keep them with us but we do have to let go …oh my it is all coming back for me ..prayers and love and much happiness to deal with this …
Ymana Johnson says
I’m very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and Steve. My prayers are flying your way. Love always, Ymana
Mom/Jeannette says
Kelly and Stephen
I feel your pain…I really do! Parker was such a sweet, sweet little guy. Our fur babies sure do capture our hearts. I often think “who rescues who” when we open our hearts to welcome our furry friend into our lives. I know Fitzzie makes my days brighter, and I know how much you and Stephen loved your fur babies so I can imagine the sadness you are feeling, but remember “don’t cry because they are gone smile because you had them both in your lives” 💕(paraphrased)
Joan Collier says
I was.sorry to hear about Parker. He looks very loved. We love our fur babies just as humans. We’ve had to have one put to sleep. He was 13+ years old. It was hard and to know we made an appointment for that but we followed thru. We wanted to wait before we got another one due to life circumstances but after about six weeks we got another one. He just turned 10.
Patty Rentschler says
I truly understand your loss of your beloved Parker. I went through making the same decision a few years ago, it tore me up inside. We had our dog almost seventeen years. I have a small ceramic urn on my dresser containing her ashes, I will never fully get over losing her. I pray you’ll eventually not cry most days and look at her pictures with many happy memories
Patty says
My dogs name was Kelly
Lora L Cotton says
Oh Kelly, I DONBED reading your post! I am so very sorry for the loss of your Parker! I too will be facing that horrible decision far too soon, I’m afraid! Out beloved rat terrier, Ari, was diagnosed with diabetes in late February of this year and FAR, FAR TOO QUICKLY lost her sight! Until this development she has always been healthy. We have had her since she was 6 weeks out and even the thought of life without her is more than hubby & I can bare. I’ve had dogs all my life and don’t think I’ve ever been without one – all totaled (time periods where I didn’t) would be less than a year. I know from loosing one of my previous dogs, Sadie Mae, that having another loving fuzzbutt helped me tremendously when she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I respect your commitment to wait a year, but I know I could NEVER last that long! You and your family will be in my prayers, as loosing a beloved fuzz-butt, is just as traumatic as loosing ANY loved one!! God Bless and may He bring the perfect new friend your way, when the time is right!
Lora L Cotton says
Oh Kelly, I SOBBED reading your post! I am so very sorry for the loss of your Parker! I too will be facing that horrible decision far too soon, I’m afraid! Out beloved rat terrier, Ari, was diagnosed with diabetes in late February of this year and FAR, FAR TOO QUICKLY lost her sight! Until this development she has always been healthy. We have had her since she was 6 weeks out and even the thought of life without her is more than hubby & I can bare. I’ve had dogs all my life and don’t think I’ve ever been without one – all totaled (time periods where I didn’t) would be less than a year. I know from loosing one of my previous dogs, Sadie Mae, that having another loving fuzz-butt helped me tremendously when she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I respect your commitment to wait a year, but I know I could NEVER last that long! You and your family will be in my prayers, as loosing a beloved fuzz-butt, is just as traumatic as loosing ANY loved one!! God Bless and may He bring the perfect new friend your way, when the time is right!
Lin says
My heart is aching for you. They are our furry children and can never be replaced. You are in my prayers.
Carmen says
Sending hugs and strength to get you through this….and you will get through this just give yourself time.
I love your blog and everything you do 🙂 thank you
Carmen
Kris says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved your boys. This was a beautiful tribute to Parker. Such heartfelt words and pictures that you’ll hold close for years to come. You’ll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS.
Meg Sharp says
Dear Kelly,
I am a cat lover/mama In the last 2 years we have had to say good bye to 2 of our beloved cats. Oscar and Madison helped our oldest make it through Ewing Sarcoma Cancer when he was 15. They were my babies as much as our own children. And they were both in turns dominating and kind when 2 other cats joined our family. Saying goodbye is always hard but the love that they shared helped us through times that I didn’t think I could make it through. My heart is with you and your family and I am truly sorry for your loss.
Melissa L says
I’m crying with you. I too know the pain of loosing my fur-babies to cancer and a collapsed trachea due to abuse in his previous home. What has helped me through these years of lose is knowing they are healthy once again and that I gave them a loved filled life full of adventure. Several years have passed and I have since rescued Ollie, a poodle from the streets of San Antonio. He is my little Velcro Dog. He is so in tuned with my emotions and knows exactly when to love on me just a bit more.
I pray for your heart to heal from the sadness and heartache you feel. I pray your days get brighter and may you once again fill your home with a little four-legged fur baby.
MC says
My heart is with you as I’ve been there twice. It is the memories and photos that will keep you going. I’m crying along with you as I write this. Do take a photo of the white butterfly and keep it handy.
Gina says
I’m very sad to hear about your puppy. I know that when my daughter finally has to say goodbye to her sweet Teddy, it will be full on grieving. I recently lost my husband and have been seriously considering a dog. I won’t make any big life changes for the first year, but I love having my daughter’s dog around and I can see myself in the future with my own puppy to love. Your photos of Parker are sweet. Sending good vibes to you that your tears of sadness will lessen as the days go by.