Let me very transparent here in saying that there are many times where I have wondered if sharing my IVF Journey and Adoption Adventures was a poor choice. I think I started all of the postings with high hopes of positive outcomes. Unfortunately, not everything we hope for comes about. Once I start something, I am one to follow through — so, I posted all of our ups and downs praying that someone, somewhere was finding hope, a blessing or even a gentle reminder on their journeys. This past week I received the following e-mail from a young lady that I met a few years back through my job. Since that time, she has married and is now pregnant. Super duper excited for you, friend. Anywho, I am posting this anonymously, but I did think that posting it was necessary. This e-mail touched my heart, made me cry and reminded me that through my hardships these past couple of years, I have been blessed to be a blessing.
Kelly,
I have been debating for a few months whether or not to write you, but decided that it might be a nice thing to share….
I just wanted to tell you that your adoption journey really touched me. I am sorry that you have had such a hard time with fertility and the adoption process and wanted you to know that sharing your story has had a positive impact on me. I was fortunate to get pregnant very easily despite my own health problems. While I am high risk, I have had a relatively stress free pregnancy. Every time I would feel the urge to complain about something related to the pregnancy I would think of you and kick myself for being so short sighted. I am having a c-section because the baby is breech and I am not allowed to go past 39 weeks because of the diabetes. Anyway, last night I was talking to my husband about my fear of the epidural I will have to get before the procedure. I ended up saying that I needed to quit complaining because Kelly Kuert would probably kill for this to be her problem right now. Then today, I went to my appointment and found out my GYN is not going to be the one doing the procedure, but this other guy who is not my favorite doc at the practice. I felt all ‘woe is me’ for a minute and then you popped in my mind. I then remember to just be grateful that I am having a baby and to not sweat the small stuff. These are just a few recent examples of how your story has affected me.
Thoughts of you have really kept me grounded thoughout my pregnancy and remind me to appreciate every moment of it. I hope this doesn’t rub you the wrong way, as I am not trying to suggest your pain makes me feel better or trying to rub in the fact that I am pregnant… I have just thought of you often and thought maybe you should know that. If nothing else, your willingness to share has affected me and I’m sure many others. I will continue to hope that you one day find yourself pregnant or able to adopt privately. I am sure you would be a wonderful mother.
All the best,
Anonymous
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The Swann's says
Hi Kelly! Don't ask me how as it was something about clicking on link to link to link to link that I've landed upon your blog… I sit here reading with a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes. Infertility is all too familiar of a title for me… Long story short, 4 years 1 month and 17 days after deciding to start a family we found out we were pregnant with our Madelyn. {Not that I was keeping count or anything} As I had seen positive pregnancies test before, most due to lovely hCG shots to induce ovulation but a few due to chemical pregnancies, this was a first a home pregnancy test every looked that beautiful! The heartache never leaves and reading stories of journeys such as yours, I am taken back all too quickly.
I am on the "other side" now but know my heart still hurts for others who are where I was not too long ago. If you want to talk, bounce things off, whatever – I would be more than happy to share. I will certainly keep you in my prayers!!
-Meghan