Well, I’ve been delaying this post for quite some time. I wasn’t sure where to start, what to share, what not to share and the list goes on and on and on. However, as I sat down in front of my computer today, God spoke to my heart the words, “a time for everything.” That then led me to Ecclesiastes 3 where it says, “To everything there is a season...”
Have you ever read the passage of scripture found in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8*? It’s a powerful passage….
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
*This passage is from the King James Version (KJV).
If you’ve followed my infertility journey, you might know that verse 4 is where I’ve been in a holding pattern for many years. After deciding not to pursue adoption, an unsuccessful IVF and fighting the good fight with endometriosis — I’ve wept, laughed and mourned off and on over the the years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed beyond measure and LOVE life to the fullest — I’ve just carried an ache in my heart.
Well, last year I started experiencing more pain than usual from (what I thought was) the endometriosis and visited with my OBGYN. Earlier this year I scheduled another appointment to discuss my options. I thought we might move forward with another laparoscopic; however, it was discovered that my uterus is enlarged and there are a few fibroid tumors present as well. So, next month (on June 6th), I’ll be having a partial hysterectomy. At this time, the plan is to remove the uterus and keep the ovaries.
C.S Lewis Quote + Printable (scroll to bottom)
It’s funny how you talk about your options and pray for God’s will, but when an option finally comes to fruition and it’s one that will close the door on motherhood — it literally takes your breath away. I’ve shed a few tears, but I’m also looking ahead and excited to embrace life from a pain-free perspective. Quality of life is another way to look at this…. because pain sucks the life right out of you, friends.
So, let’s revisit Ecclesiastes 3 where it reminds us that there’s a time for everything. When we get to verse 3, we read, “a time to heal.” While I’ll be physically healing for several weeks after the surgery, I know that God will continue to heal the emotional loss that seems to overwhelm me every now and again.
While this chapter of my life comes to a close, let me remind you that I am confident this is what God’s perfect will was for my life. The why is something I might not ever know or understand; however, I do know that even when my prayers aren’t answered the way I had hoped, “He is still good.” (Daniel 3:18).
With that being said, I want to remind you that life can be messy and disappointing. If you’re facing a hardship, disappointment, sickness or loss — you are not alone. “To everything there is a season…” Trust the journey and keep looking forward, not backward.
I recently saw this quote at a friends house and it seemed appropriate for my current season, so it spoke to me (plus, I love C.S. Lewis).
“There are far, far better things ahead
than any we leave behind. ”
So, I am looking ahead with great anticipation of all that God has in store… many more adventures in our Oliver Travel Trailer, growing old with my husband, drinking way too much coffee, making unforgettable memories with family and friends and laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt.
Life is hard, but God is sooooo good.
I hope you’re encouraged, friends! Keep Ecclesiastes 3 close to your heart and remember that “to everything there is a season…” I also hope that you’ll pray along with me on June 6th and send lots of good vibes my way. Many, many thanks!
I created this somewhat whimsical printable (sized at a 5×7) for you to enjoy as well.
*Please Note. Printables and downloads designed by Live Laugh Rowe are for PERSONAL USE ONLY. Please do not alter the file or claim it as your own. This file is not intended for resale, nor are the printed versions of this file.
Please be thoughtful in your comments and know that we have considered every possible avenue (adoption, foster parenting, etc) and underwent an IVF procedure. These are very personal and difficult decisions to make. I know that when friends, family, readers make a suggestion, you’re all doing it with good intentions, but that’s not what this post is about. It was about sharing from my heart and asking for your encouragement and prayers — not solutions.